we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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