my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
