dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
