that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
