I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
