I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
