Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
