I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize