I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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