thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
