In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
