Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
