FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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