I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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