Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
