there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
