im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
