Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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