I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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