I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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