My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
