i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
