Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
