is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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