can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
