idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
