There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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