Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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