I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
