He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
