'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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