I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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