when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
