he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
