Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
