threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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