she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
