2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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