there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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