I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
