I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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