oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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