We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
