I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You can't motorboat a personality
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
