the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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