Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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