and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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