Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
