i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
