capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im holly from the hills drunk
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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