Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
