Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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