I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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